Monday, October 3, 2016

Stranger to myself

The day I chose to observe myself is Sunday October 2nd. I woke up early in the morning to watch the most famous Chilean soccer match. My favourite team was playing, so Gloria, my Chilean friend came to my place to watch it. As our team won, we were very happy and started the day in a joyful way, even though it was very cloudy and rainy; on top of that we were feeling very homesick and nostalgic.

If I have to analyze the use of technology, I would say that I am very dependant of it, specially now, since I am communicating with different people in Chile almost all day long. Specifically, Facebook, Instagram and chatting apps such as Whatsapp, constitute the most important means of communication with the people I have far away. It is for me the best way to catch up on what my friends and family are doing. Even though, is hard to get to know some anecdotes in context or trying to guess what their feeling about different situations are.

In Chile, my normal environment, I usually try to seize the moments. My phone battery usually lasts the whole day because, I think communicating in real time, with real people still can slow down the process of disconnection to reality that we are suffering worldwide nowadays. Still, there are times in which I enjoy to alienate myself, plug my headphones and fall into the world my music swallows me into. I am a big fan of music, a musician and feel very identified with the rocker sound and lifestyle. When I say lifestyle, I refer to personal convictions, and try not to fall in prejudices that most times are not true. Such prejudices that surrounds people who share this kind of music taste, tend to refer to alcohol and drug abuse, being reckless and irresponsible.

Referring to the way I look, I have noticed that what was normal for me in my country is not so here. Being a rocker meaning style, with my piercings, tattoos and rock band t-shirts do not constitute a majority at all. I often notice looks of people. Then I get a little paranoid, what might they think of me? Still, trying not to lose my authenticity, I tend to dress as neutral as I can.

As I said before, normally disconnecting myself from technology would not be a great deal at all. Now though, it was really difficult. I turned off my phone and went shopping with Gloria and other exchange friends, noticing that most of them were at all times with their phones in their hands. I started to feel a little anxious because, I think that we do not even notice the need of having a phone in our hands. Moreover, thinking about people calling me from Chile, specially my daughter, made that hour much longer than it should have.

After the hour passed by, I checked my phone and saw the missed calls and messages. Then I called my daughter back and had the most emotional and joyful conversation with her. We laughed, shared anecdotes and told how much we were missing each other.

My final analysis would be that sad as it sounds, it is very hard to spend time without technology. Here in Loyola I must be using my computer almost at all times for studying, when I am not, I usually talk to the people I miss the most. Again, this is the analysis of someone living in a foreign environment and in normal circumstances I would love to live without my phone or computer, for an hour, a day, or a week perhaps.

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