Self-Observation Through Communicating
After doing iExamen 2 I noticed a variety of different ways in which I communicate differently with people that I didn’t notice before. This iExamen was different than the first because I didn’t pay as close attention to the kindness in the way I communicate with my friends. While doing this Examen I noticed that I was thinking more about what I was saying to the people around me. For the most part, when I am around my friends I don’t think I need to have much of a filter because I am comfortable enough with them and we are able to tell each other how we feel. I noticed that my communication was noticeably different while doing this self observation.
My family and friends have always told me that I can be a little sassy when I am talking to them. Unfortunately, I do this without even noticing that I am being slightly rude towards them. For example, my tone of voice will change dramatically which makes it sound as if I am angry. Another example I have noticed recently is when my boyfriend occasionally asks if I want something I will quickly say no in a tone that comes across a little rude. When this has happened he responded, “What about no thank you.” I immediately realize that I didn’t say that and I apologize. I feel as if people don’t always take into account the little things that you know you should say to people. I appreciate being called out on those small instances because it’s a reminder to me the kind way of saying things. I believe this happens when you are talking to people who you are close with because you aren’t concerned with making sure you say the right things to them. For instance, during this assignment I noticed how many times I said thank you to someone that was holding the door for me. It’s a simple thing to do, but so simple that you sometimes don’t even realize it because it is something that you were told to always do. While doing this examen I felt a little funny at times because it took me a few extra seconds to respond than I usually do. Each time I was about to say something I had to give it just a little more thought to make sure it was kind, useful and true. I think communicating along these lines both helps and hinders people. It helps because it allows people to avoid gossiping about other people because gossiping isn’t necessarily useful. During this assignment my friends would gossip about people but I wouldn’t respond, they found it a little odd that I was just sitting there but I pretended as if I wasn’t listening. I also feel as if it hinders you because you have to concentrate more on what you are going to say which is going to take more time and effort. It is almost as if it makes conversations a little choppier and unnatural because everything doesn’t just flow right out. A few times my friends made a rude comment and I responded in a very pleasant way. My friends were a little caught off guard because usually we will respond in the same kind of way. Even though we don’t intentionally mean to sound rude towards each other.
After telling them about the assignment they responded in a confused way. They asked what class this assignment is was for and I simply told them it was for my understanding literature class. Unfortunately, they didn’t understand why we had to do this assignment because they thought it is strictly a reading and writing class. I had to explain to them that it is a service learning course, before I got too far into my explanation they had claimed they knew what I was talking about. But secretly I knew they just didn’t want me talking about my classes anymore. I personally found this assignment more interesting than the first iExamen because we had to think a lot more about the way we communicated with people. While the other iExamen we had to turn our electronics off for an hour and observe the the difference in communicating without having any kind of electronic on. After doing this observation, it has made me realize how little I focus on what I say to my friends and family. But also the opposite for the people I am not that comfortable with. Not only that, but it also opened up my eyes to how things can come across rude when I am not intentionally trying to sound that way.